Tea & Cucumber Sandwiches Mayday Soiree.
May 1st 2002

The awfully nice chaps here decided it was high time the British public learnt a thing or two about light snacks and protesting dress code. Fed up with the American coffee rot at Starbucks that everyone seems to be drinking we decided to dish out some good old tea & cucumber sandwiches to the protesting masses.

New Oxford Street

Travelling around central London, our gallant Ladies & Gentlemen served up a nice spread of Tea and Cucumber Sandwiches. We stopped off at several of those ghastly coffee stores and asked people "What the bally hell has gotten into you? What? It's just not bloomin cricket!"

Leicester Square

Unfortunately the managers of the various stores seemed not entirely to agree with us and we were shoved on from place to place. No bother however as we managed to spread the word at around eight or so of the nasty little places and serve a good few hundred cups of tea.

Oxford Street

As for the dress of the rest of the protestors, well to be honest we were a little dissapointed, that is except for a lovely bunch of young ladies that we met down on the Strand. We think it is about high time that our movement started to dress with a little more suaveness, what? Ditch those smelly old clothes and come out in your Sunday best next time, that'll give the buggers in the Daily Express photo corps a thing or two to ponder. How on earth are they going to get that photo of the scruffy hoodlum if we are all dressed up to the nines?

Picadilly

It was a lovely day, and we had plenty of snacks for everyone, that was of course until those anarchist rotters scoffed all of the sandwiches on Regent street. We were walking past a Starbucks that was being borded up, when lo and behold a good few hundred chaps came marching down Regent Street towards us. We got the stall set up at the double, and Mr Lucas let it rip with the megaphone we had brought along. Blimey, I had never served so fast in my life.

The Strand

Our final ports of call for the day were up in Soho for the sex workers pride march, what-o. Strangely no Starbucks were to be found, so we set up outside a few Costa coffee shops, as there hardly seems to be any difference from one multinational chain to the other, bar the all important logo that is.

Wardour Street

By this time the lovely old boys in blue had come come out fo the closet, and were being rather off, refusing the lovely tea that we had offered them.

Old Compton Street

We finally polished off our supplies dancing to the samba band playing in Old Compton Street, the end to a lovely sunny day.